I Quit...or Did I?

I am not sure why it is so tough to give up some things: cokes, nail biting, fear of failure, poisonous comments, critical self-righteous thoughts, phony posturing, confidence in JaMarcus Russell, coffee that costs too much, wistful reminiscing of what never came to pass, McDoubles, sweat pants... Yesterday I thought about how easy it is to say "stop" and how ridiculously hard it is to do it. Even the ugliest of habits cling to me like duct tape. I was thoroughly depressed by the attendance at our church despite the fact that I knew I had worked my hardest all week, did the best I could to prepare and used long stretches of time to pray for the sermon, made sacrifices that cost me and my family for the benefit of the church and enthusiastically entered Sunday with high hopes. And yet the afternoon froze into an amalgamation of doubts, frustrations and streams of bitter consciousness. I wondered why I still get upset by how things spin in life, why this habit of being impacted by circumstances weekly floors me. I recently read that in reverse order the following are what Americans say they cannot live without: 5. Haircuts/coloring 4. Discount stores for purchasing accessories 3. Cable/Satellite TV 2. Cell Phones 1. Internet So here I am on the Internet wondering aloud why I do not give up on those things that pain me most. Colossians 3: 7 inspires me that there are habits I have killed and for that I am grateful...You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived This week I will give up satellite TV...next week I will quit coloring my hair...Then I will stop texting friends on my cell phone...but after that...some habits are just hard to kill. Maybe nail biting will go...but I doubt it. Last night I looked out at the moon, full and lovely in its festive march across the sky and thanked God for a habit that hasn't yet quit...a light that shines in the darkness!