Open Wounds

Open Wounds

Psalm 38:11 NIV

My friends and companions avoid me because of my wounds; my neighbors stay far away.

Do You Know Someone Who Is Wounded?

Years ago when I was still in high school, my father, who was a police officer took me in his squad car and let me sit up front with him on his patrol.  It was during the early seventies and there was plenty of animosity among teens and young adults for those in authority including police officers.  I was stunned by the anger shown my dad on the faces of students at the local high school as he drove past them.  He got a call to respond to a home where there was a family dispute.  I waited in the car until finally my dad returned.  He had been called to the apartment because an eleven year old boy had shaved off his eyebrows.  I wasn’t told why he did it and my dad may not have even known why.  I pictured that boy going to school without eyebrows, walking into a store without eyebrows, visiting the dentist without eyebrows, getting his haircut without eyebrows or eating out with his family not having eyebrows.  Everywhere he went people would look at him and wonder what happened to his eyebrows.  What would you have thought if you heard the boy had shaved off his eyebrows?  I can imagine that as the story got out among the neighbors and family friends, everyone would have had an opinion about the boy and maybe even of his family life.  Was he emotionally disturbed?  Did he do this out of rebellion?  Perhaps he was abused or neglected or just extremely immature.  It would be hard not to form an opinion of the boy and his home life if you found out he had shaved off his eyebrows and the police had been called after it happened.

What do you think of those who judge others?  Do you like to be judged?  Is it fair for others to judge you?  What is your first thought when you hear someone got a DUI or her pit bull attacked a child?  Do you form an opinion of someone who decides to get a divorce or file for bankruptcy?  What if someone comes in late for work?  Does it matter to you if your co-worker isn’t doing her job well or is blaming you for her mistakes?  What do you think of someone who cheats on his wife or lies to you?  Have you had someone walk past you without responding to your greeting?  Do certain people irk you?  What do you think of those who don’t show you respect or seem to not like you?  Once you form an opinion of someone, is it difficult for you to change that opinion?

I am fascinated by the account of Hannah who was so distressed over her infertility that she sobbed as she prayed in the Tabernacle for God to give her a child.  The High Priest, who was sitting off to the side thought she was drunk and so he approached her with his rebuke.  As she kept on praying to the Lord, Eli observed her mouth.  Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk and said to her, "How long will you keep on getting drunk? Get rid of your wine." (1 Samuel 1:12-14 NIV)  Hannah fended off the accusation by stating the purpose of her trip to the Tabernacle.  "Not so, my lord," Hannah replied, "I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the Lord.  Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief." (1 Samuel 1:15-16 NIV)  Imagine how embarrassed Eli the priest must have been to assume the worst about the poor woman.  Haven’t we all been in that same place, humiliated by our assumptions? Here Hannah was, assuming she was safe emotionally to pour out her heart to God and she was accused of something terrible!

The sad account of Michal and her troubled marriage to King David provides us with a painful reminder of how bitterness can degrade the human personality.  She had married David when they both were young but her father’s jealousy of David drove a wedge between them.  To save his life, David had to flee without Michal and for ten long years they were separated.  Michal remarried and David took additional wives but when David was made king of Israel, his only condition for taking the crown was that Michal be restored to him as his wife.  This was a terrible demand as Michal had rebuilt her life with someone who deeply loved her.  Yet David wasn’t interested in Michal’s feelings, he just wanted to consolidate his power by being linked through marriage to the previous king.  Clearly Michal never forgave David for what he did and her bitterness surfaced in the form of criticism of David’s extravagant worship of God.  When David returned home to bless his household, Michal daughter of Saul came out to meet him and said, "How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, disrobing in the sight of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!"  (2 Samuel 6:20 NIV)  David did not have the least bit of sympathy for Michal and her sense of loss but blew up over Michal’s criticism of him and the two never slept together again.

Many times criticism is formed in the heart due to deep wounds that have never healed.  We may feel justified by our critique and even think we are quite wise in our assessment but how can we be certain that our disapproval is rooted in a fair evaluation of the situation and not the result of our psychological wounds.  There is a certain sort of pleasurable pride in every sinner discovering some fault in another person.  This is a universal trait found in even the kindest of human beings empowered by psychological damage sustained though sin.  What must always be considered is that the force of our criticism and even the assumptions behind it very well might be rooted in our own dysfunction rather than any legitimate source of wrong committed by the other person. 

Few have contemplated the implications of a comment made in the rarely read book of Lamentations.  The verse is an example of what is known in the study of literature as personification.  Jeremiah uses the picture of a young virgin to describe the situation the city of Jerusalem faced.  What can I say for you?  With what can I compare you, O Daughter of Jerusalem?  To what can I liken you, that I may comfort you, O Virgin Daughter of Zion?  Your wound is as deep as the sea.  Who can heal you? (Lamentations 2:13 NIV)  What is important for our discussion here is how Jeremiah points out a critical component of the human condition.  The heart is vaster and less explored than the oceans of the earth.  There are great sections of the heart that are completely unknown to us.  Wounds that cripple us and warp thoroughly our decision making and evaluation processes are buried deep in the ocean of our hearts.  Sadly we act as if it does not matter at all how corrupted and damaged our hearts are.  We freely and contentedly judge and criticize without giving a whit how much our thoughts about others are influenced by wreckage embedded in our hearts and not by what those we criticize are actually doing. 

There is always one more fact we haven’t considered when we begin to criticize someone or think poorly of him or her.  The strange case of Noah and his drunkenness comes to mind.  Sometime after he and his family left the Ark following the flooding of the earth, Noah planted a vineyard and got drunk from the wine he made.  Noah, a man of the soil, proceeded to plant a vineyard.  When he drank some of its wine, he became drunk and lay uncovered inside his tent. (Genesis 9:20-21 NIV) The reaction of his son is notable.  Ham, the father of Canaan, saw his father's nakedness and told his two brothers outside. (Genesis 9:22 NIV)  This may sound completely reasonable and normal but the response of Ham’s brothers was much different.  But Shem and Japheth took a garment and laid it across their shoulders; then they walked in backward and covered their father's nakedness. Their faces were turned the other way so that they would not see their father's nakedness. (Genesis 9:23 NIV)  Noah exploded with rage when he found out how Ham treated his drunken nakedness.  When Noah awoke from his wine and found out what his youngest son (Ham) had done to him, he said, "Cursed be Canaan (Ham’s son)!  The lowest of slaves will he be to his brothers." (Genesis 9:24-25 NIV)

Whether or not Noah was right in his violent outburst is beyond the scope of our discussion today.  God certainly upheld Noah’s curse of his younger son.  Ham seems to have been disrespectful of his father and maybe even critical of his dad’s behavior.  Let us consider Noah’s actions.  Perhaps we would agree with Ham that Noah was wrong to get drunk and ignore the rules of common decency by lying around naked.  We might even contend that Noah had no right to get drunk since God had rescued him from the judgement of the world.  Yet consider what Noah had buried in his heart.  If there was no one on earth God wanted to save, if everyone was so wicked that He decided to kill them all, what must have life been like for someone like Noah who is called in Genesis a “righteous man, blameless among the people of his time…” (Genesis 6:9 b NIV)  How many murders had he come across in his six hundred years, how much cursing, how many acts of perversion, how many times was he threatened, attacked, mocked, humiliated and despised.  The wounds buried within Noah’s heart must have been as numerous as the fish in the ocean.  He was battered psychologically and maybe even physically.  What would it have done to any of us to have been surrounded by such ugliness and hatred?  Is it any wonder that Noah might have collapsed into a drunken stupor after it all was over?  What buried pain did Noah suffer that made him act in ways that others who did not know all Noah had been through might lead to criticism and contempt.  There is always something in every person’s life that we do not take into account when we evaluate their actions and judge their motives.

Jesus gave no wiggle room for judging but gives us carte blanche to pray for anyone we want.  Paul said that we are to “pray without ceasing” and that is the only reaction we can be certain God approves when we get frustrated or disgusted by someone else. There are forces at work that go even beyond what is buried within the heart and they are supernatural forces that wreak havoc on every person we come across.  We may not be able to see how much good we do praying for others we don’t like, whose behavior we don’t approve or that irritate us but God assures us that there is immeasurable good we do praying for each person He brings us.  We stop forces of destruction and bring into reality forces for good each time we pray.  Just because we don’t see what we stop and start is not indicative of all we bring to pass when we pray.  Never forget what Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.  And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father.  You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.” (John 14:12-14 NIV)  Never let this great promise of God slip very far from your day.  Always remember how great you have been made in Christ.  Such great lives have no time for criticism when they are busy changing the world.