Reality in Love

1 Corinthians 13:4 NIV

Love is patient, love is kind.

What Is The “Look of Love”?

Recently I was working in a classroom that I had been in a number of times before.  They were invited to visit another class at the school to see the exhibits the students of that class had made of different aspects of ancient civilization.  For example, one student made a model of the Parthenon, another a terracotta soldier of ancient China; others exhibited papier Mache maps of Rome or the pyramids of Giza.  Each student had an exhibit to share and explain and they were all exited to make their presentations to the kids of our class.  Before I brought our kids in the classroom though, I poked my head in to check and see if they were ready for us.  About three months before I had worked in that same class as a substitute teacher one day and as soon as I looked into room, several kids shouted, “It’s Mr. Walkup!”  Immediately the class started cheering.  Embarrassed, I ducked back out and returned to the class I was bringing to see them.  I was not prepared for that sort of reception and I think the teacher in the class was a little taken aback by their reaction to seeing me.  I had only been with them one day and it was shocking that they remembered my name and I was overwhelmed by their response.  That same day, I was talking with someone and that person told me I’m not very nice and that others are intimidated by me.  Once again I was stunned and left speechless.  I cannot say that I have ever encountered a day quite like that one where I faced such a wide swing of the pendulum and it was difficult knowing just how to process the feedback I received in just the span of six hours or so.

There is something to be said for honest if brutal evaluations.  Sometimes it isn’t pleasant hearing what others really think of us and it can happen that we are wildly surprised to find out just how loved and respected we are.   It cuts both ways.  We are loved and we sin.  We may not like what God has to say about us but He is honest in His evaluation of us.  The Bible insists that ‘all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”, He means it. (See Romans 3: 23) It is worth noting that when the great man of faith Isaiah met God for the first time, he was not prepared for what he saw in himself.  "Woe to me!" I cried. "I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty."  (Isaiah 6:5 NIV)  Was this an aberration or how it really is when God comes upon us?  Whether it was Moses or David or the Apostle Paul, we have this same sort of experience; the realization that what is within is terribly ugly and corrupted.  It may have taken the witnessing of a miracle by Jesus to get the Apostle Peter’s attention but nonetheless Peter also upon figuring out who Jesus actually was awakened to his own sinfulness.  When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus' knees and said, "Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!" (Luke 5:8 NIV)  Paul the Apostle expresses the thoughts of all who have ever met God personally.  I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.  For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do — this I keep on doing.  (Romans 7:18-19 NIV)  There is a freeing discovery when we come to Christ our Savior that we are thoroughly riddled with sin and on our own can’t get out from under it.

You cannot fully appreciate just what kindness God has shown you to die for your salvation unless you meet Him.  Until you do, forgiveness of sin is only a casual determination of God to brush off what petty mistakes you have made.  “Ah, that’s good dude.”  But that is not how it is with us or with Christ.  God did not die on the Cross because we have just “blown it” a few times.  He did so because our sin is thoroughly wicked and completely ingrained in us; it took the violence of crucifixion to remove it all from us.  When we think of what Jesus had to endure to take out of us our sin, it cannot be fully realized without really meeting Jesus.  It is like trying to describe the skill needed to play professional hockey without seeing it firsthand or being told how smart a mathematician is if one has never tried to solve even a simple algebra equation.    When Jesus comes to us in the way He does, we come to grips with how kind He is to die for our salvation.  The Bible, in its magnificently understated way, gives us a hint of it.  But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8 NIV)

Let us for a moment do some theological math.  Or perhaps it would be better stated that we are going to think about this matter of God’s love using the logic of the Bible to shape our conclusion.  In discussing love, the Bible says that, “Love is patient, love is kind.” (1 Corinthians 13: 4 NIV)  The verb that is translated “patient” describes putting up with a lot or continually not letting upsetting matters trouble you.  Kind is a great way of translating this second quality of love, that love is constantly doing what is compassionate.  One way to look at the entire passage on love and in particular these two characteristics is to replace “love” with God.  The Bible tells us that in the equation, God is love or God equals love.  Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. (1 John 4:8 NIV)  But then we also see this point repeated later in the same chapter.  And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.  God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.  (1 John 4:16 NIV)  It is not a stretch to make1 Corinthians 13 and in particular verse 4 all about God.  God is patient.  He does not let our constant sinning upset Him.  God is kind.  He deals with us gently like a loving mother or father would a reckless and misbehaving young child.

Let’s look at one example from the Gospels to get an idea of just what sort of person God is.  In John 8, Jesus addressed a crowd that had gathered to worship and discuss the Scriptures at the Temple.  Some of them accused Jesus of being demon possessed.  They tried to insult Jesus by calling Him a “Samaritan” which in their minds was about as bad a slam as it got.  Finally, they became so enraged with Him that they in a mad rush grabbed stones off the ground to kill Jesus.  Our Lord’s response was perfectly aligned with patience and kindness.   Rather than call ten thousand angels to decimate the entire crowd, He quietly slipped away.  At this, they picked up stones to stone him, but Jesus hid himself, slipping away from the temple grounds. (John 8:59 NIV)  The patience of God at this moment was astounding.  Do you remember the fire coming down upon Sodom or the plague of the firstborn on the Egyptians.  In an instant Christ could have wrecked everyone there but He didn’t.  He quietly faded into the background.  How many of us, if we had the absolute power our Lord did at that moment would have been so kind.  Consider just how painful it is for Jesus to watch us sin, be lazy and uninspired, disregard His commands and priorities, pay no attention to Him as He waits for us to do what is right.  How much does God put up with you and me?  Are we not ten times worse than those Israelites who were blinded by Satan and trapped by the Devil’s plot?  We know who He is and we still ignore Him!

Some may have thought I was too hard on Abraham recently with my critique of his faith.  Take a look at one incident that tells us a great deal about Abraham’s patience and kindness.  Genesis 13 provides a synopsis of just how Abraham’s mind worked.  His brother’s son Lot had traveled with him from Haran to Canaan and settled with him there.  Abraham had become extremely wealthy and acquired vast amounts of livestock and gold.  It seems apparent that he shared his good fortune with Lot.  Now Lot, who was moving about with Abram, also had flocks and herds and tents. (Genesis 13:5 NIV)  One would think that Lot would be grateful for what his uncle had done for him and do everything he could to stand behind him but such was not the case.  But the land could not support them while they stayed together, for their possessions were so great that they were not able to stay together.  And quarreling arose between Abram's herdsmen and the herdsmen of Lot.  (Genesis 13:6-7 NIV)  This conflict between Abraham’s employees and Lot’s became so bad that the only solution seemed to be to go their separate ways.  So Abram said to Lot, "Let's not have any quarreling between you and me, or between your herdsmen and mine, for we are brothers.  Is not the whole land before you? Let's part company. If you go to the left, I'll go to the right; if you go to the right, I'll go to the left." (Genesis 13:8-9 NIV)  It is critical to note that it was not just the employees who were arguing, Lot was quarreling with Abraham.  How was this possible?  How could Lot have had one single word of disagreement with his benefactor?  All he owned was due to Abraham and his generosity and kindness!  Is it conceivable that Lot would have for even a moment let his staff fight with Abraham’s workers?  Would not someone who had been so blessed by another have done all he could to have supported and stood loyally for that one’s cause?  Lot did not and it seems there was not an ounce of gratitude in Lot for all Abraham had done for him.  Selfishly he stood his ground and demanded that Abraham give him his way.  Finally Abraham could not take the tension between them any longer and rather than force Lot out, he gave him the option of where to settle.  He did not demand his right to the best land.  He simply in kindness and patience made peace with his nephew and gave to him whatever he wanted.

Jesus put it this way.  "You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.'   But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.  And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well.  If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.  Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.” (Matthew 5:38-42 NIV)  This is perhaps the most elegant and practical teaching on patience and kindness you will find in any book ever written.  What if, with God and all His power and goodness living in you, you take one of these commands and look for an opportunity this week to practice it.  God will give you the opportunity if you are willing to be His disciple.  Many would not take up this challenge, but perhaps you will.