Finding Neighbors

Luke 10:29 NIV

But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?"

Are You Trying To Find Your Neighbor?

The famous “Mr. Rogers”, built a career by singing about being a neighbor.  In a world that is growing more and more packed with people, are we neighbors or billions of individuals walking about on our own?  The most critical concern we have is almost always tied to what we face ourselves or perhaps what those closest to us are facing.  Yet, are we made to be that way?  Are you supposed to be disconnected from the world about you?  The news makes you constantly aware of those who need help, whether it is the story of the woman who is kidnapped or the account of villagers whose homes have been wrecked by earthquakes.  Yet the more you know about the problems of the world, the less you know about the problems of those right next to you.  It may seem presumptuous to ask, but what is your normal response when you realize someone needs help?  How do you react to real problems those near you face?  It is strange perhaps to ask if you love your neighbor because of course you do.  Who doesn’t?  Yet we must give it some thought, this question.  Do we love our neighbors?  Do you?

Famously, a Jewish expert on Old Testament Law approached Christ and asked Him, "What must I do to inherit eternal life?" (Luke 10: 25 NIV)  The Lord flipped the question around and asked the man what the Law said about it.  He answered: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" (Luke 10:27 NIV)  Jesus affirmed this answer and told the expert on the Law, "Do this and you will live."  (Luke 10:28 NIV)  Then came the most memorable question, “Who is my neighbor?”  It is a good question if I am to love my neighbor as myself.  Who is my neighbor then?  It is fascinating though how Jesus in His own way of giving answers to the questions of skeptics and critics did not actually answer that specific question.  He answered a completely different question with his story of the “Good Samaritan”.

When two Jewish religious leaders ignored the beaten Jewish victim of a mugging as they walked along the road where his broken body stretched out on the side in plain view, it was a Samaritan, one whose nationality made him hated by Jews, who came to the Jewish man’s rescue and took care of him.  Then Jesus when He finished the story asked the teacher of Jewish Law who it was that was the neighbor to the man that was beaten.  It is a subtle but critical shift Jesus made.  He did not give a reply to the question, “Who is the neighbor that must receive love” but told the skeptic through His story who the neighbor is that gives love.  That is a completely different question and answer and the man who asked the question originally was so stunned by the direction Jesus’ story took that He did not even acknowledge or maybe even realize how thoroughly Christ shifted the focus.  We are never to ask who our neighbor is that we are to love but always probe to discover if we are the neighbor who loves.  It is as if Jesus was asked, “Who is the patient?” and He told instead who the doctor was.  Or perhaps He might have been asked whose house was on fire and instead He told who the fireman was.

The first sign Jesus gave to the world that He was the Messiah was turning the water into wine.  He was at a wedding feast with His mother, Joseph, the one chosen by God to act as father to Jesus having passed away by then, and Mary was either told or discovered on her own that the groom had run out of wine for all the guests.  This was one of the most humiliating things that could happen to a young man, a blunder that would most likely be remembered and retold in his village at least the rest of his life.  Mary, recognizing just how traumatizing this would be for the young couple as they started off their new life together, came to her son Jesus and told Him the situation.  Jesus’ reply is almost shocking, given what we know of Him now.  Literally, He responded to her news, “What to you and to me?”  “What does this have to do with us?” (See John 2: 4)

When it comes to being a neighbor or loving as a neighbor, this is the second most important question you must ask yourself.  The first is, “Am I a neighbor who loves?”  The second is, “What does this have to do with me?”  “Is this my problem?”  When Jesus cast this question upon Mary, His mother’s response shows how profoundly she trusted Jesus to do what was right.  Rather than replying to Jesus, she went back to the servants of the groom who may have been panicking at the moment over what to do about the lack of wine, and told them to follow exactly Jesus’ instructions.  "Do whatever he tells you." (John 2:5 NIV)  Mary did not try to argue the immensity of her cause, did not plead with Jesus to help the poor couple not lose faith.  She simply trusted Christ to do what was right.  Does God have the same trust in you to do what is right?  Will you be a loving neighbor?

Many who look at Acts 6 give the chapter the wrong emphasis.  They see it as primarily about the institution of the deacon ministry.  Although that is integral to what is described, it is mostly about how the Christian community considered the “Love your neighbor as yourself” dilemma.  Because of the violent persecution the early Church faced and the way it expanded, there were a vast number of Christian widows who did not have enough money to even buy food.  Many of the widows were left without any family members to help them so the Church began to provide for them. However, as we often see in our world, certain types of people are more loved and valued than others.  In this case it was the Jewish Christian widows who got more help than the non-Jewish Christian widows.  In those days when the number of disciples was increasing, the Grecian Jews among them complained against the Hebraic Jews because their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food. (Acts 6:1 NIV) All the widows needed the Church to get them through the crisis though and so the non-Jewish Christian widows went to the Apostles and pleaded for help.  Rather than declaring that this matter was not their problem, the Apostles and the other leaders in the Church selected seven men to be in charge of making sure that all the Christian widows had enough to eat, whether they were Jewish or not.  This was of course the precise way Jesus responded to the question, “Who is my neighbor?”  “You are the neighbor!”  The Church saw a specific need, widows without food, and they did something practical to meet that need.  They were neighbors who loved.

You have a very important question to ask yourself.  Are you a neighbor who loves?  Depending upon how you answer, a second question comes. “What does that have to do with me”?  It is strange to think that God has entrusted so many people who need a neighbor who loves to you.  The other day I was talking to a teacher who was obviously stressing over a meeting she was going to have with a parent and the principal.  What does a neighbor who loves do in that situation?  You come across someone who has anxiety attacks.  What does a neighbor who loves in that situation do?  There are dishes in the sink and your mom is busy working on dinner.  What does a neighbor who loves do?  A co-worker just got chewed out by her supervisor.  What does a neighbor who loves do?  Someone you know is in the hospital.  What does a neighbor who loves do?  Across the street a young mother has just been diagnosed with Parkinson’s.  What does a neighbor who loves do?  Your sister-in-law just started drinking heavily and the family is blaming her for her marriage.  What does a neighbor who loves do?  The question for you and me is never, “Who is my neighbor?”  It always is, “Am I a neighbor who loves?”  How we answer that question clearly has an eternal ramification!  

Open Wounds

Open Wounds

Psalm 38:11 NIV

My friends and companions avoid me because of my wounds; my neighbors stay far away.

Do You Know Someone Who Is Wounded?

Years ago when I was still in high school, my father, who was a police officer took me in his squad car and let me sit up front with him on his patrol.  It was during the early seventies and there was plenty of animosity among teens and young adults for those in authority including police officers.  I was stunned by the anger shown my dad on the faces of students at the local high school as he drove past them.  He got a call to respond to a home where there was a family dispute.  I waited in the car until finally my dad returned.  He had been called to the apartment because an eleven year old boy had shaved off his eyebrows.  I wasn’t told why he did it and my dad may not have even known why.  I pictured that boy going to school without eyebrows, walking into a store without eyebrows, visiting the dentist without eyebrows, getting his haircut without eyebrows or eating out with his family not having eyebrows.  Everywhere he went people would look at him and wonder what happened to his eyebrows.  What would you have thought if you heard the boy had shaved off his eyebrows?  I can imagine that as the story got out among the neighbors and family friends, everyone would have had an opinion about the boy and maybe even of his family life.  Was he emotionally disturbed?  Did he do this out of rebellion?  Perhaps he was abused or neglected or just extremely immature.  It would be hard not to form an opinion of the boy and his home life if you found out he had shaved off his eyebrows and the police had been called after it happened.

What do you think of those who judge others?  Do you like to be judged?  Is it fair for others to judge you?  What is your first thought when you hear someone got a DUI or her pit bull attacked a child?  Do you form an opinion of someone who decides to get a divorce or file for bankruptcy?  What if someone comes in late for work?  Does it matter to you if your co-worker isn’t doing her job well or is blaming you for her mistakes?  What do you think of someone who cheats on his wife or lies to you?  Have you had someone walk past you without responding to your greeting?  Do certain people irk you?  What do you think of those who don’t show you respect or seem to not like you?  Once you form an opinion of someone, is it difficult for you to change that opinion?

I am fascinated by the account of Hannah who was so distressed over her infertility that she sobbed as she prayed in the Tabernacle for God to give her a child.  The High Priest, who was sitting off to the side thought she was drunk and so he approached her with his rebuke.  As she kept on praying to the Lord, Eli observed her mouth.  Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk and said to her, "How long will you keep on getting drunk? Get rid of your wine." (1 Samuel 1:12-14 NIV)  Hannah fended off the accusation by stating the purpose of her trip to the Tabernacle.  "Not so, my lord," Hannah replied, "I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the Lord.  Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief." (1 Samuel 1:15-16 NIV)  Imagine how embarrassed Eli the priest must have been to assume the worst about the poor woman.  Haven’t we all been in that same place, humiliated by our assumptions? Here Hannah was, assuming she was safe emotionally to pour out her heart to God and she was accused of something terrible!

The sad account of Michal and her troubled marriage to King David provides us with a painful reminder of how bitterness can degrade the human personality.  She had married David when they both were young but her father’s jealousy of David drove a wedge between them.  To save his life, David had to flee without Michal and for ten long years they were separated.  Michal remarried and David took additional wives but when David was made king of Israel, his only condition for taking the crown was that Michal be restored to him as his wife.  This was a terrible demand as Michal had rebuilt her life with someone who deeply loved her.  Yet David wasn’t interested in Michal’s feelings, he just wanted to consolidate his power by being linked through marriage to the previous king.  Clearly Michal never forgave David for what he did and her bitterness surfaced in the form of criticism of David’s extravagant worship of God.  When David returned home to bless his household, Michal daughter of Saul came out to meet him and said, "How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, disrobing in the sight of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!"  (2 Samuel 6:20 NIV)  David did not have the least bit of sympathy for Michal and her sense of loss but blew up over Michal’s criticism of him and the two never slept together again.

Many times criticism is formed in the heart due to deep wounds that have never healed.  We may feel justified by our critique and even think we are quite wise in our assessment but how can we be certain that our disapproval is rooted in a fair evaluation of the situation and not the result of our psychological wounds.  There is a certain sort of pleasurable pride in every sinner discovering some fault in another person.  This is a universal trait found in even the kindest of human beings empowered by psychological damage sustained though sin.  What must always be considered is that the force of our criticism and even the assumptions behind it very well might be rooted in our own dysfunction rather than any legitimate source of wrong committed by the other person. 

Few have contemplated the implications of a comment made in the rarely read book of Lamentations.  The verse is an example of what is known in the study of literature as personification.  Jeremiah uses the picture of a young virgin to describe the situation the city of Jerusalem faced.  What can I say for you?  With what can I compare you, O Daughter of Jerusalem?  To what can I liken you, that I may comfort you, O Virgin Daughter of Zion?  Your wound is as deep as the sea.  Who can heal you? (Lamentations 2:13 NIV)  What is important for our discussion here is how Jeremiah points out a critical component of the human condition.  The heart is vaster and less explored than the oceans of the earth.  There are great sections of the heart that are completely unknown to us.  Wounds that cripple us and warp thoroughly our decision making and evaluation processes are buried deep in the ocean of our hearts.  Sadly we act as if it does not matter at all how corrupted and damaged our hearts are.  We freely and contentedly judge and criticize without giving a whit how much our thoughts about others are influenced by wreckage embedded in our hearts and not by what those we criticize are actually doing. 

There is always one more fact we haven’t considered when we begin to criticize someone or think poorly of him or her.  The strange case of Noah and his drunkenness comes to mind.  Sometime after he and his family left the Ark following the flooding of the earth, Noah planted a vineyard and got drunk from the wine he made.  Noah, a man of the soil, proceeded to plant a vineyard.  When he drank some of its wine, he became drunk and lay uncovered inside his tent. (Genesis 9:20-21 NIV) The reaction of his son is notable.  Ham, the father of Canaan, saw his father's nakedness and told his two brothers outside. (Genesis 9:22 NIV)  This may sound completely reasonable and normal but the response of Ham’s brothers was much different.  But Shem and Japheth took a garment and laid it across their shoulders; then they walked in backward and covered their father's nakedness. Their faces were turned the other way so that they would not see their father's nakedness. (Genesis 9:23 NIV)  Noah exploded with rage when he found out how Ham treated his drunken nakedness.  When Noah awoke from his wine and found out what his youngest son (Ham) had done to him, he said, "Cursed be Canaan (Ham’s son)!  The lowest of slaves will he be to his brothers." (Genesis 9:24-25 NIV)

Whether or not Noah was right in his violent outburst is beyond the scope of our discussion today.  God certainly upheld Noah’s curse of his younger son.  Ham seems to have been disrespectful of his father and maybe even critical of his dad’s behavior.  Let us consider Noah’s actions.  Perhaps we would agree with Ham that Noah was wrong to get drunk and ignore the rules of common decency by lying around naked.  We might even contend that Noah had no right to get drunk since God had rescued him from the judgement of the world.  Yet consider what Noah had buried in his heart.  If there was no one on earth God wanted to save, if everyone was so wicked that He decided to kill them all, what must have life been like for someone like Noah who is called in Genesis a “righteous man, blameless among the people of his time…” (Genesis 6:9 b NIV)  How many murders had he come across in his six hundred years, how much cursing, how many acts of perversion, how many times was he threatened, attacked, mocked, humiliated and despised.  The wounds buried within Noah’s heart must have been as numerous as the fish in the ocean.  He was battered psychologically and maybe even physically.  What would it have done to any of us to have been surrounded by such ugliness and hatred?  Is it any wonder that Noah might have collapsed into a drunken stupor after it all was over?  What buried pain did Noah suffer that made him act in ways that others who did not know all Noah had been through might lead to criticism and contempt.  There is always something in every person’s life that we do not take into account when we evaluate their actions and judge their motives.

Jesus gave no wiggle room for judging but gives us carte blanche to pray for anyone we want.  Paul said that we are to “pray without ceasing” and that is the only reaction we can be certain God approves when we get frustrated or disgusted by someone else. There are forces at work that go even beyond what is buried within the heart and they are supernatural forces that wreak havoc on every person we come across.  We may not be able to see how much good we do praying for others we don’t like, whose behavior we don’t approve or that irritate us but God assures us that there is immeasurable good we do praying for each person He brings us.  We stop forces of destruction and bring into reality forces for good each time we pray.  Just because we don’t see what we stop and start is not indicative of all we bring to pass when we pray.  Never forget what Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.  And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father.  You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.” (John 14:12-14 NIV)  Never let this great promise of God slip very far from your day.  Always remember how great you have been made in Christ.  Such great lives have no time for criticism when they are busy changing the world.

Compassion in the Wings

There is a part of us that wants to believe that God really will supply all of our needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus.  We strain to maintain our faith in God to provide for us but the hard, cold facts keep getting in the way of our assurance.  A bill comes that is too much to bear, an illness strikes and shatters us,  a crisis throws us into turmoil, a relationship comes apart; all of this leads to questions about God's goodness and care.  You may have had a close friend or family member "let you down" and now you struggle with trust.  How can you be certain that God really does have your best interests at heart and the ability to see you through whatever you face?  The foundation of all hope is not our circumstances or even the chronicle of our experiences; it is the Bible itself and what it says of God.  He is a good shepherd who cares for you with the tenderness and compassion of the kindest and most loving person you have ever met.  He is vigilantly watching your situation and has already planned for your help and care.  Of course it is hard to believe the Lord is looking out for you because you cannot see Him.  That does not mean it is not so, this love and protection of His!  Our Lord gave the example of the sparrows and desert flowers to articulate how easy it is for Him to watch out for you and care for you.  Such common and unassuming creatures as sparrows have God's eye and interest; how much more so you who He has lovingly shaped and given life and personality.    We sometimes think we don't matter to God and in a world wrecked by Sin and manipulated by Satan, it is easy to be fooled into thinking this.  Yet, our Savior let His life become shattered and broken for one purpose; that you and I might share our lives with Him in perfect holiness and goodness.  Christ took your Sin into Himself and lifted it up onto the Cross where it died with Him and for that, you bank your hope in God to deliver you now.  Prayer takes just a sliver of faith to operate in the supernatural realm of God and His angels.  The feeblest of saints has this in common with the Apostles of old; I can pray and God will deliver me as He has promised.  Though the mountains may shake and the lightning may shatter the rocks before me, I will trust in God because He has made His promise to stand with me in the storm and be my shelter come what may.

Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the Lord, who has compassion on you.  Isaiah 54:10 NIV