The Struggle of Why

Romans 9:20 NIV

But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? "Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, 'Why did you make me like this?'"

Do You Have a “Why” Question For God?

Growing up, like you, I had many “why” questions for my parents…most of which I knew better not to ask.  Why do we have to have a Volkswagen bus instead of a normal car?  Why do you serve peas for supper?  Why do I have to wash the dishes?  Why can’t we watch my favorite TV shows?  Why would you think mashing the roast beef with the potatoes and carrots and peas and onions and other quasi food items, mixing them together and calling it “hash” would be a good idea?  Why can’t I watch the second feature at the drive-in too?  How come my allowance is so small?  Why don’t we take more votes when family decisions are made?  What made you think that a baby blue polyester leisure suit should be my Christmas present?  Could I get my hair cut by someone who earns his living at it?  Can we listen to something other than country western music?  Why does Dad need to know about my grades?  Can we go to Disney Land for our vacation rather than camping this year?  What “Why” questions would you ask of your parents if you could?

Perhaps you ask them why they treated you like you did, or why was your brother or sister the “favorite child”.  Maybe you would ask about a relative who was kind of strange or whether they were happily married or glad about their career choices or what they really thought of God.  We might have lots of questions we would ask of our parents if we thought it appropriate or if it was possible.  Are there “why” questions you have for God?  What do you “wonder why” about God’s dealings with you?  Do you have lots of “why” questions for Him or just a few?  What is your most important “why” question for the Lord?

Our “why” questions seem to grow in magnitude and number when the toughness of life bears down upon us.  There are a number of ways we attach causation to the difficulties and painful parts of their existence.  One is bad luck.  There is we guess some force in the universe that operates and sometimes the coin turns up heads and other times tails and when it is good luck we try to keep doing what we are doing and when it is bad luck, we scramble for ways to “change our luck”.  We wear different kinds of clothes, take a different route to work, give a homeless person an extra dollar.  We can just assume that everything that happens is random and without any sort of organization.  Jackson Pollock famously painted using random drips and drops and splatters to create his art and it represented this idea, that there is neither rhyme nor reason to life; it is just a bunch of splatters shot about by mindless nature.  There is another way to look at the tough parts of life and that is to blame it all on Satan.  Satan is the one who takes our lives apart and ruins them to satisfy his cruel fancies.  A fourth view of these rough times is to guess that God is mad at us and punishing us.  Sometimes we see God as cruel for He deals with us more harshly than we deserve.  Like Job, we know we haven’t been perfect but why does He come down on us as hard as He does?

Now we must see what the Bible says about those rough times we have faced.  Hebrews 12: 5-6 gives us deep insight into what goes on behind the scenes when painful experiences come our way.  And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." (NIV) Now what is almost irritating in this is that we are told that the very experiences that tear us apart and make us miserable and even angry should encourage us.  How can we be encouraged by the loss of our job, by the long and painful illness, by the troubles we have with our children and by the discouraging things people say to us?  It is impossible unless we have Christ dwelling within us and we understand what God is doing for us.

We must realize that there is a real possibility that we may not even be aware of how much work God has to do with us.  When David committed adultery with Bathsheba and had her husband killed, he had no idea just how badly he had acted.  It is strange to consider that David, the author of so many of the Psalms in the Bible could have thought it was ok to have sex with another man’s wife and then order the general of his army to position that man on the battle lines at such a place that he would be killed.  One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, "Isn't this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite?"  Then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her…In the morning David wrote a letter to Joab and sent it with Uriah.  In it he wrote, "Put Uriah in the front line where the fighting is fiercest. Then withdraw from him so he will be struck down and die." (2 Samuel 11: 2-4, 14-15 NIV) It seems David had grown comfortable with what he had done…so comfortable that he had no qualms about marrying the woman after her husband died.  When Uriah's wife heard that her husband was dead, she mourned for him.  After the time of mourning was over, David had her brought to his house, and she became his wife and bore him a son. But the thing David had done displeased the Lord. (2 Samuel 11:26-27 NIV)

This is critical to realize when it comes to the psychology of sin.  We can sin and sin egregiously and not even rattle our conscience.  There is a masking agent attached to many sins that can render the conscience impotent.  We have seen this often in our personal experiences; Christians and non-Christians alike not aware that what they have done was wrong.  We may think that they are just trying to cover up their sin by pretending they don’t see anything bad in their behavior but we would be wrong in many cases.  Like David, the sin itself has put the conscience to sleep in the matter.  The mechanism for this is beyond our discussion today but it is too ubiquitous a phenomenon to ignore.  In David’s case, he went nine months without being affected by the damage he had caused.  It was only after the prophet Nathan confronted him that David grasped the immensity of his evil acts.  “Why did you despise the word of the Lord by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites...Then David said to Nathan, "I have sinned against the Lord." (2 Samuel 12:9, 13 NIV)

Because sin damages our personality so severely and the habit of sin is so difficult to stop once it gains momentum, God chooses to intervene with those He loves.  He “disciplines” them, Hebrews 12 insists.  The word translated “discipline” means to train up, nurture, instruct, correct.  It is often used in conjunction with children; it is in many ways a family term.  In Christ, we are a part of His family and we are His children.  Because of the severity of David’s sin and the great damage it was causing among God’s people, the Lord disciplined the king ruthlessly.  He took David and Bathsheba’s son and promised David that other children of his would rise up against him in rebelllion.  That was a dreadful blow; a horrendous shot.  David prayed with weeping when the baby Bathsheba bore became deathly ill so we know it was terrible for David but God did not give in to David.  He took the child and later two of his adult children tried to wrench the kingdom from him.  The discipline of God was severe.

It takes faith to believe that a father or mother punishes you out of love.  You can’t just accept the discipline at face value as good…at least not when you are a child.  As adults or young adults, we too need faith to believe the harsh moments in our lives are part of God’s work with us done in love.  The one to one correspondence is almost never as neat and easily recognized as we saw with David.  You have adultery and murder in you.  I will take that out of you with this discipline.  Much of the time we cannot even figure out what we might have done wrong when God disciplines us.  God’s promise though is that the hard times never come because God hates us or because they just happen, always God is in charge of what we face and it is never because He despises us.  There is a second term the Lord uses in Hebrews 12: 6.  …the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." (NIV)    The word translated “punishes” means to “scourge”.  It is discipline capitalized.  No one can describe this as easy or comfortable.  Remember, Jesus was “scourged”.  We realize that there are many parts of us that God must work on with severity and we may cry when we face what he gives us.  God’s goal though is not for here; it’s that later we will be rid of every ounce of sin and settled in holiness…perfect children of a perfect God.

Our goal is comfort.  We love to be able to relax and enjoy the ride.  God’s goal is holiness.  He loves to develop perfect people.  These two goals can be at loggerheads; butting up against each other like two mountain goats.  As He disciplines you, our Lord is proving your holiness; showing you and all those watching you what sort of person you are in Christ.  He is making you strong that your strength can be transferred to those not as strong as you, making you forgiving so that your forgiveness can be transferred to those not as forgiving as you, making you kind toward those who mistreat you so that your kindness can be transferred to those not as kind as you.  My father went through special training that he might protect those who would need his strength and help.  You are being trained by God that you might of great good for those He brings into your life.  If you are not trained to be patient, someone who needs your patience won’t have it when she needs it.  If you are not disciplined to be at peace with the storm, those who face the storm may not have enough peace to get past it.  The one who grieves finds great comfort in a friend who has grieved herself.  You are not your own.  You were made by God to be a perfect friend to each one you meet.  The storm you face is for them…not just for you.

Obedience—The Great Uncovering Step 3

Romans 3:20 NIV

Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin.

Do You Recognize The Source Of Your Longings?

When you get married, most just assume that someday they will have children.  You may want to give yourselves some time to enjoy being newlyweds but most plan on eventually having kids.  We were like most couples in that way.  In fact before we got married, we had already picked out our first daughter’s name.  So when after eight years of being married and six years trying our best to become parents, we were flabbergasted.  In fact we became a bit desperate in our praying when it seemed we might not be able to have children.  I used to watch other people my age holding hands with their kids, pushing their babies along in baby strollers, playing catch at the park, buying their children toys at Christmas and envying them.  Sometimes I could hardly stand to watch young families because I so badly wanted what they had.  It was painful getting family Christmas cards from others with the happy smiles and blissful joy they seemed to have.  Now of course I know how rough it is to get families to all smile together and how difficult parenting is.  But back then, all I could see was the upside of having children and it didn’t seem fair that all these people could have kids and my wife and I couldn’t.  I was like the Grinch…I hated birth announcements and did not want to hear about the accomplishments and milestones of my friends’ kids.  I lusted after their lives…their happy, fun and exciting parent lives.

Nothing rots human personality like envy.  It is perhaps the most destructive force we face.  Envy has led to world wars, murders, suicides and ruined homes.  Nearly every conflict has its root in some form of envy.  Many times longstanding friendships, family relationships and marriages come apart due to some form of envy.  Envy has led to insurmountable debts, broken marriages, fractured families, ruined careers and self-loathing.  It led to the first murder and it will be the cause of the last battle on earth.  Envy led to Satan’s downfall and many billions of downfalls thereafter.  Is it any wonder that the Lord finished His Ten Commandments with a prohibition against practical envy?  "You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor." (Exodus 20:17 NIV)

If there was anyone who seemingly had no reason being envious, it would seem to have been Jacob, the founder of the nation Israel. There is not a much greater honor than having an entire nation named after you.  That is what happened with Israel, better known as Jacob.  How many of us have ever had a city or a street named for us?  Israel, better known as Jacob had the great privilege of being spoken of by God before he was born.  When his mother feared that something terrible was happening in her womb, the Lord reassured her that all was well; she simply had twins, fighting twins albeit.  The Lord said to her, "Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you will be separated; one people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger." (Genesis 25:23 NIV)  The younger was Jacob and his mother was told by God what would come of his life.  As the brothers grew to adulthood, each parent chose one of them as the favorite son.  Jacob’s mother Rebekah loved him the most; his father Isaac loved the older twin Esau best.  The boys grew up, and Esau became a skillful hunter, a man of the open country, while Jacob was a quiet man, staying among the tents.  Isaac, who had a taste for wild game, loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob. (Genesis 25:27-28 NIV)  What this parental favoritism did to the personality of each of the twins we cannot say with certainty but we do know that Jacob envied his brother Esau’s place in the family; coveted in fact what belonged to him, specifically his birthright.

One day Jacob’s older brother Esau came back to camp famished after an unsuccessful hunting trip.  Jacob famously had a pot of stew on the fire and Esau craved some.  Jacob, who clearly had been thinking often of his desire to change places with Esau struck a deal with his brother.  He (Esau) said to Jacob, "Quick, let me have some of that red stew! I'm famished!" (That is why he was also called Edom.)  Jacob replied, "First sell me your birthright."  "Look, I am about to die," Esau said. "What good is the birthright to me?"  But Jacob said, "Swear to me first." So he swore an oath to him, selling his birthright to Jacob. (Genesis 25:30-33 NIV)  This was indeed a strange transaction yet both sides were apparently quite happy with the trade.  Much is made of Esau’s disregard for his birthright as oldest son but rarely is the biting desire of Jacob to have his brother’s birthright explored.  As we learned earlier of David’s father issues, we see a similar situation here.  Jacob was the lesser son to his father also.  Jacob in his deep seated feelings of rejection and disconnect from his dad, perhaps hoped he could by getting his brother’s birthright erase some of the longstanding pain he felt about his place in the family.

One of the more misunderstood commands of Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount is the famous directive on sexual purity.  "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.'  But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matthew 5:27-29 NIV)  This mandate turns on the word “adultery”.  It specifically is a command on marriage vows.  Adultery is the sexual relationship of a married person with someone with whom he or she is not married.  The reverse is also adultery; a single person having a sexual relationship with a married person is also committing adultery.  Adultery is not “sexual immorality” which is any sexual relationship outside of marriage; adultery is a subset of sexual immorality, it is the sin of sexually breaking marriage vows.

What we have here in the Sermon on the Mount is a stern command to not desire sexually someone who by God’s law cannot be yours.  If you are married, or someone else you notice is married, sexual looking is equivalent to adultery.  Jesus has marvelously woven together the seventh command to not commit adultery with the tenth command to not covet what belongs to another person into one very practical order.  Now this is strange perhaps to suggest and may seem even blasphemous but this part of the Sermon on the Mount is not a prohibition against single people sexually looking at other single people.  You may argue that any form of sexual looking is wrong and cite other parts of the Bible to make your point that it is wrong but sexual looking among single people is not the concern of Jesus here.  He is crushing in this stunning connection of lust and adultery the universal practice of wanting something someone else has.

It is typical of children to crave another child’s toy, even to the point of ripping it from her hand. We all have done it; most of us have watched it happen.  Our dog wants our cat’s food and the cat takes the dog’s food.  When adults and teens let their minds feast on another man’s food, it becomes a banquet from hell.  Jacob made his trade with Esau and got his brother’s right as first-born but he still had to have more.  That is the problem with craving.  It can only be stopped by the strong hand of God.  Jacob did not get what he hoped to have in his trade.  His father didn’t like him any more than before; he was still the lesser son.  When Isaac died and Jacob finally got his father’s inheritance, it no longer mattered to him because he was already rich.  The worst part of the trade though was that it fed an insatiable desire to completely usurp his brother’s place in the family and it was Jacob’s mother who found a way to try and gain that lust desire.  When his father Isaac wanted to pass along a special blessing to Esau, Jacob’s mother worked out a plan where Jacob was able to trick his father into giving it to him.  Both his father and his brother Esau were devastated by the deception.  His father shook with rage when he discovered what Jacob had done; Esau’s fury at his brother’s actions turned to thoughts of murder. He said to himself, "The days of mourning for my father are near; then I will kill my brother Jacob." (Genesis 27:41 NIV) Jacob fled his home to escape his brother’s wrath and perhaps even his father’s disgust with him and wound up more than a hundred miles away at the home of his mother’s brother, never to see his beloved mother ever again.

Here is the consequence of Jacob’s coveting.   Jacob wound up essentially being a slave to his uncle for twenty years.  If he had let God work everything out instead of taking matters into his own hands, he could have gone to his uncle with his father’s blessing and with the help of his father’s riches, gained his wife Rachel instantly.  Instead, since Jacob was a fugitive and thus powerless, Laban his uncle took advantage of Jacob and forced him not only to work seven years to gain Laban’s daughter Rachel as a bride but forced him to marry also his other daughter Leah whom he did not want.  This cost him another seven years of forced labor.  He spent fourteen years paying for his covetous desires!  What is worse is that his wives, because of their jealousy of each other pushed Jacob to take on each of their servants as wives too.  Rather than build his family upon the foundation of love and loyalty, it began as a civil war and never stopped being a civil war.  His wives fought the rest of their lives for supremacy in the home not just for themselves but also for their children.  Coveting is passed along to the next generation.  It is a ravenous beast that cannot be satiated without divine intervention.  Covet once what isn’t yours and you will find yourself consumed by poisonous desires unless you let God work His way through you and free your mind of satanic longings.

Remember the first and most destructive temptation is the one to grab for what belongs to someone else.  We can follow our lust like Adam and Eve and just take it like they did the forbidden fruit or because we are afraid of acting upon our impulses, crave it until we are poisoned by the unmet desire.  Jacob lusted for his brother’s blessing because he didn’t think he could ever have his father’s love.  Could it be the same for us?  Is there something we want too much because we still bear a wound that has never healed?  Have we let Satan get in our head and think God is too small to make things right for us?  Are we afraid God is unable to fix what is wrong in us so we look for something else other than God to fix our brokenness?

There is a seldom discussed way God heals the broken parts of our unconscious world.  He does it by thanksgiving.  Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. (Colossians 3:15-16 NIV) These are not two disconnected thoughts.  The word translated “And” puts them together and makes them one linked whole.  You gain the peace of Christ when you are thankful.  Be thankful and the deep places of pain and hurt and broken dreams and lost hopes are healed by Christ peace.  Where no one can touch the wounds…not a psychologist nor a master teacher…Christ can touch it and he can heal it.  His peace passes into us when we are thankful for what He gives us.  When we look about and think “thank you Lord” for each part of our day, for every experience we encounter, the peace of Christ has more freedom to move about in our unconscious self and take out the poison that kills our happiness.  A thankful mind does not have room to lust after others or crave the things others have.  A thankful mind is a joyful mind.  Satan cannot jump the wall of a mind that is thankful to Christ for what He has done. 

Tattoo Regret

The Lord's harshest criticism was reserved for those who would not believe Him and His warmest affirmation was for those who trusted Him at His word.  The promises of God secured within the Scripture are held there for you to accept and adjust your life.  The contrast between Zachariah the father of John the Baptist and Mary the mother of Jesus is stark.  Struck dumb by the angel Gabriel for his lack of faith, Zachariah had to carry with him for a time the tattoo of unbelief and it was not removed from him until his faithful wife Elizabeth gave birth to the child.  And even then he first had to declare the name of their son publicly as assigned by God before his voice returned.  You cannot say you have faith until you actually do the thing God has said to do.  Don't treasure your doubts like some sort of badge of honor.  They are the silliest and most ridiculous parts of Christians, the pious questions that mock God's faithful righteousness.  Put aside your doubts and do the thing God has assigned you and enjoy the favor of Jesus as He commends you for trusting Him in the matter.