Patience

2 Peter 3:15 NIV

 Bear in mind that our Lord's patience means salvation…

What Is It You Really Need?

There is one day that every parent dreads from the moment a child is born.  It is more feared than the first discussion on “the birds and the bees”, produces greater anxiety than the anticipation of going into debt to pay for college tuition and makes parents cringe more than the start of music lessons.  It is that first day a parent starts teaching her child how to drive.  It is then that all those times when you caused your parent grief comes back to haunt you.  One friend of mine told me that her sister took her out to learn how to drive using her mom’s car without permission before she got a permit and she sideswiped a telephone pole and broke off the mirror.  They quietly returned the car to its parking spot and it took them thirty years before they had the courage to tell their mom what they did.  My dad broke into a sweat the day he taught me how to drive and his face was white as a sheet when we got finished.  The parent who patiently endures this traumatizing day of reckoning is superhuman.  You find out quickly just what sort of placidity you actually have when you sit in the passenger seat the first time your teenager pulls out of the driveway and careens off into traffic.  I am certain even the Buddha screamed “watch out!” the first time he took his daughter driving.

On a scale of 1-10, what level of patience do you maintain when you are driving…when you are cooking for your mother-in-law…when someone makes you late…when your children start fighting…when your family members leave the dishes in the sink for you to wash…when you spend an hour teaching a co-worker how to do something and you realize she hasn’t paid attention to you…when the sales clerk forgets to put in your bag the one item you went to the store to get…when the person sitting next to you on the metro sneezes in your face…when you lose your keys…when your sister loses your keys…when someone eats the food you saved in the refrigerator for lunch…  Do others see you as patient or easily perturbed?  Is patience one of your strengths or a weakness of yours? 

The New Testament of the Bible insists on patience as a critical component of a healthy personality.  Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. (Colossians 3:12 NIV)  Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. (Ephesians 4:2 NIV)  In the Old Testament, patience is the sign of one having wisdom.  A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly. (Proverbs 14:29 NIV)  The first characteristic of love is patience.  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. (1 Corinthians 13:4 NIV)

Patience does not stand alone as a virtue though.  It requires resistance; a force acting against it to bring it to life.  To know you have patience, you must face something trying, something that pushes you.  Patience does not come into existence until it goes up against an adversary.  When you are humiliated or ignored or mistreated or disappointed or kept from asserting your will then there can be patience but otherwise it is just an idea, a concept or an idealization grounded in myth.  You can say you are patient but until you “come up against it”, you don’t really know.

The ancient account of Job and his troubles is a classic example of someone who really did come up against it.  What makes the documentation of his personal experience so crucial for our study of patience is the clear delineation of what we all face in a world dominated by spiritual forces that are too often ignored or discounted.  The Bible insists that there is a literal spiritual being that has great power in this universe.  Satan is not a metaphor for evil; Satan is the force behind evil.  What we learn from the documentation found in Job is that Satan has access to God and can go to Him and ask permission to try and wreck people.  In Job’s case, Satan was given permission to attack Job physically and psychologically.  Satan killed Job’s children, ruined him financially and then made him endure terrible sores that were painful and debilitating.  The terrible suffering of Job continued until God finally put a halt to it.

There is no patience without suffering of some sort, whether it is psychological or physical.  Some suffering we bring on ourselves but clearly there is suffering that Satan has been given permission to inflict on us.  When that suffering hits us, we can either be patient or not. It is up to us.  Do we think the same sort of activity is happening today as it did in Job’s case?  Of course it is.  Satan is making life hard on us, putting us in situations that make it painful and distressing.  But we can stand up against them with patience.  Patience is the capacity to weather the storm, to be bent under the force of the wind but not broken by it.  The New Testament term translated patience is literally “long soul” or “long to passion”.  In other words, one who is patient does not let the passions take over the personality.  Wisdom remains in control.

There are two levels of patience.  The first is just what you can deal with in your own strength.  Some have more patience than others because of the experiences they have had, the role models they emulate and just the basic make-up of how they are put together.  There is a limit though to the patience any of us have and when Satan pushes us too far, we fall apart.  We get angry, we become depressed, we isolate ourselves, we use alcohol or drugs to mask the pain, we strike out in revenge, we engage in sexual immorality or perversion, we abandon our careers, those who love us and/or the faith we once had.  When our patience is shattered, we come apart in some way that hurts us or others.

The Bible tells us that one of the psychological benefits of having God a part of you is that He produces in you patience.  But the fruit of the Spirit is … patience... (Galatians 5:22-23 NIV)  This means there is a certain level of patience that only God can produce; different than what you will ever naturally possess.  It is supernatural patience that belongs to God that you can have.  His patience, which is available to you is the same patience that enabled Him to endure the Cross without lashing out at those mocking Him, that allowed Him to speak kindly to the thief on the cross who had before ridiculed Him, the same patience that upheld Him when He faced His death.

Only the Holy Spirit can give you God’s patience so that you aren’t rattled by the sorts of things that shatter the best of human beings.  I once had a friend who was wrecked by the fire that ruined her house and she took out her anger on her husband.  Her anger destroyed his affection for her and he left his wife for another woman.  Some things are just too big for you and only God can see you through them.  Go to Christ right now if you wish and ask Him to anoint you with the Holy Spirit.  He will pour His patience into you if you give yourself over to Him.  The great storms will not overwhelm you; the earth shattering quakes that topple others will not make you fall.  When Christ died to take your sin from you, He said that you could have the Holy Spirit as a part of you.  When our Lord bought you out of your slavery to sin and the forces of evil in this world, He did so that you would not be alone to face all this.  He comes to you now.  Invite Him to join you.  Ask for the Holy Spirit to make His home in you.  Have God’s patience; let the strength of His personality get you through every trial and difficulty you face both today…and tomorrow.