The Atheist Question

There is a crucial question that must be asked, even by those who do not consider themselves great thinkers.  It is more pertinent than any other philisophical debate...perhaps even the mother of all discussion points.  Fundamental to every activity and priority we make much of is this one question.  Before we can even debate who God is, what He is like and whether or not He exists, we have another, more basic question.  Which is eternal, God or matter/energy?  The further we descend into the tiniest parts, the closer we come to this one question.  Everything flows from something.  Regardless of how big or small it may be, the parts are from something always.  There is not an instance of somethingness emerging from nothingness...there is always a building block of some sort.  The point is, something must have always existed...whether it be God or matter/energy.  Existance does not spring from nonexistance.  So there you have it.  Either God created matter or matter formed God and one must have always been...or else neither could be.  The pagan Greeks started with matter, the polytheistic Egyptians did too, Buddhism waffles on the question.  Christianity says God is the start of all and He alone is eternal.  If God is the eternal, then everything of life revolves around Him and His life.  If matter is eternal, then nothing matters for all that is has the spin of randomness to it that cannot be stopped.  Love, hate, creativity and friendship are just concotions of a chemical soup that has no purpose.  But if God is eternal, then love and hate and right and wrong and care and concern all mean something and have purpose.  You ask the question.  Not which came first but rather which has always been.  Matter/Energy or God.  One must start with a capital letter!

Prayer Failures

How do you assess the value of a ministry?  Is there an instrument calibrating success, a plus minus chart that can accurately determine the worth of a Christian effort?  How do we know if we should keep doing some work or give up on it?  Is there a way of knowing we should persevere in an effort or "cut bait".  Rarely am I as often facing the moment of decision of giving up or not on it with prayer as any other Christian activity I attempt.  I have read every book I can find on prayer, attempted nearly every prayer strategy I have come accross, groaned through prayer, agonized through prayer, wept through prayer and fought tenaciously to concentrate while praying but have developed into nothing more than a rank amateur at it.  Prayer may not be my biggest failure in ministry but it certainly is my most frustrated endeavor.  In many ways, the more I pray, the worse I get.  And yet I haven't quit and don't believe I should.  I have never really understood why God does not periodically wrap me in a cloud of ecstasy as I pray, doesn't impress me with some jaw dropping revelation, doesn't mark my prayers every once in a while with miraculous "Godsends".  I must lead the most boring humdrum prayer life extant and yet I keep going at it.  I am not quite sure why I expect so much more in prayer than I get.  I have certainly heard the testimonies and read the accounts of wondrously enraptured praying but I also recognize that I will never hit a baseball in a major league game, run a marathon, stand on the moon or sing solos in packed stadiums and most likely will never be caught up into the seventh heaven as I pray.  I may be exhibiting a complete lack of faith here but my experience has shown me this mostly.  My praying is not very good...not ever.   I pray, not so that I will get but so that my Savior will get...get my time, get my devoted effort, get my best try, get me.  I can make little of my gains in prayer but I have done it...and done it again...and done it again.  That I believe counts for something!  If counting even matters when speaking of the one who has thrown up so many stars in the heavens we have no way of know how many are actually out there.  To just think that the one who placed the proton at the center of the atom insists I pray despite my meager, inadequate strivings is enough to push me after it again and let the "results" be what they are without my standard of determining what it may be.