Just Quit

Yesterday I took my kids to a baseball game and we sat next to a group of guys who were entertained by screaming at the pitcher of the oposing team who was warming up in the bullpen. "You are gonna give up a home run!" "You're no good!" "You call that a fastball?" "Just give up!" Of course they had some spicier terms also that they hurled down at the bullpen. My boys were pretty surprised by the vitrolic quality of the comments...they didn't use the word vitrolic...they caled them angry drunks. Of course Jacob and Noah aren't used to that kind of behavior since all they know are Little League games where all (almost all) of the fans are encouragers. The more I considered the comments, the more kin they seemed to what I hear in my own head as I wade through pastoral responsibilities and my work connected to ministry. I am certain it is Satan who hurls the spite and levels the accusations but many of the criticisms and characterizations feel pretty dead on. Some of the attacks I can't quite fend off and they stick. So what do I do with all my "just quit" plaque clogging my heart? I wish I could say I just bring it to Jesus but it never is quite that simple. The finiteness of my vision makes it very difficult to see anywhere much past what I have done, the response I receive from others and the silence guarding my efforts. If I could just get one "ata boy!" from God, I would probably be pretty satisfied but that doesn't seem to come often enough to keep me clearheaded as I "fight the good fight". We do see through a glass dimly, our vision blurred by the frailties of our efforts, the quietness of our friends and the scorn of our critics but that does not mean it all ends there. We press on because there is an end in sight where we will finally be cheered openly by the only One who really knows what we have attempted. Why God doesn't just give us all a group of cheering fans who love our work and applaud us onward, I do not know. But I am certain of this. It was pretty lonely in the Garden of Gethsemane and I am most thankful Jesus went on with what He had to do... So there it is. Press on! Victory is despite appearances, within reach!