Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts

Friday, February 21, 2014

Are You A Horn Blower?

Does it confound you when you are treated badly, when you are ignored and your effort discredited or discounted?  Are you stunned by the rude behavior around you, by the lack of effort you see, by the selfishness and undependability everywhere you go?  It is never those you just see every once in a while who give you the most trouble, it is the ones closest to you: your spouse, children, parents, co-workers, fellow church members, clients, relatives, teammates.    We are too absorbed by our coming and going, what we want to get done, our expectations and fantasies to see how life really is.   The impact of sin is universal and ubiquitous but we have a frivolous demand that it not be here or there, not be where we want a break from it.  Sin is in your sister just as solidly as your supervisor and your political leaders and public personalities.  Sin has gotten ahold of your husband as well as your daughter and it is shut up in your babysitter and kindly uncle.  The sin you see in yourself is everywhere you look and you cannot get away from it here.  Your father acts badly because of sin just as your favorite sports hero and the girl you have had your eye on for months.  Sin is pervasive and swelling in influence and effect.  Rather than growing cynical and bitter about it, face the sin head on.  Know it is there just as surely as it is within you.  Only the fool sees no sin in herself and the spiritually naïve are shocked by its appearance when they make a friendship.  You are a sinner living among sinners so give everyone a break and relax.  Jesus Christ was not rattled by the sin all about Him...He could just as easily forgive the woman caught in adultery as call out the Pharisees who dreamed at night of the woman they wanted to smash with stones because she wasn't with them.  Jesus Christ does not fret over sin taking hold of the friends he "trusts"; He redeems them.  The same work happening with you is going on in those about you.  It is absurd  to fuss and stew over your son's undone homework and your husband's lack of regard for your needs.  They are sinners and Christ is redeeming them just as surely as He is you and your unseemliness.  It is easy to realize how everyone must be patient with you because of the sin you struggle to master; what about those who you find unattractive and unreasonable; can you see how patience is required for them too?  God is not finished with them too.  The work in progress of Christ redeeming mankind is too cumbersome and tedious for many of us to endure and we get exasperated by its snail pace...but the work will be done in you as well as those about you so why not relax a bit and give the Lord room to crucify each of us that we might all live in Christ fully and completely.   So just take your hand off the horn, give up your right to blow up on your wife and don't make it worse for God as He does the redeeming and you in turn grow in your faith that Jesus Christ is Lord of ALL.

In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed.  In your strength you will guide them to your holy dwelling.   Exodus 15:13 NIV

Friday, October 1, 2010

Spacemen and Zombies

Our four-year old son drew a picture for me yesterday. It had four circles in a vertical row on one side and next to them were two much bigger circles in a vertical row beside them. The two circles on the right had smiley faces on them and the four circles on the left were blank. For all those Freudians, here is my son’s explanation of his drawing. The four circles on the left were him and his siblings. The two on the right were me and my wife. We were smiling because we had just punished his older brothers and the children had nothing for faces because they were sad.


What do you do when you hear that? I was stunned for a moment. I glanced across the page and there he had drawn four hearts with the initials of him and his siblings in them and below two bigger hearts labeled “mom” and “dad”. So on this spontaneously sketched page was illustrated the terrible tension in every home…happiness and trouble, discipline and pleasure, separation and joining.

How can you smile when failing grades are brought home or towels are casually tossed about the room or rapid fire insults are swirling around the dinner table? Who grins contentedly when one child smashes another’s sword or milk is left dripping off the table for mom or dad to clean? It is an impossible task being a parent and yet somehow we do it. Sometimes I come home from work and immediately start hunting for the bomb shelter. My kids have one. Most people call it the bathroom.

Recently the four-year old hit one of his younger friends at church and we took away his dessert and made him have water for dinner. Brutal I know…but it had to be done. If our children were interviewed by reporters for the National Enquirer, imagine how the stories would read. “Parent traps son in torture chamber! Sends him to his room.” “Father humiliates son! Takes away his Xbox for the week.” “Mother berates daughter about grades! Makes her do her homework!” Parents can’t win. Kids probably feel the same way. I know I did. I still do.

Families are the crucibles in which all joy is squashed and all contentment is obliterated and yet we still get married at staggering rates and we continue to have children. Why? It is nice to have someone to pray with as you drop off for the night and no one can hold you like your husband or your wife. The other day Ben and I were holding hands as we walked together after dinner. He was wearing his space man costume and I pointed up at a planet and told him I thought it was Mars. He agreed and asked me a deep philosophical question. “Do astronauts really pee in their spacesuits? “ Perhaps it’s not so bad being a parent…

“Seek the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near.” Isaiah 55: 6