It Takes Time

John 14:6 NIV

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

What Will You Do About The Truth?

Last month our church had a potluck and it was poorly attended.  In fact, there were fewer people in the worship service that day than I can remember.  A number of people put a significant amount of work into getting the potluck ready and the food was great.  Yet I wasn’t sure if we should have another one for a while.  I asked a couple if they thought we should wait a few months for the next church potluck or have one this month and they both smiled broadly and insisted that we have it this month.  I was caught off guard by their enthusiasm and then in a split moment of certainty, I knew that the Lord had spoken to me through them, that He wanted us to have a potluck so I went ahead and scheduled it.

I must admit though that I had a dilemma.  How was I to know that it really was God speaking to me and not just peer pressure?  It is not always God speaking to you when you want it to be and it isn’t easy knowing if you are right or wrong in it.  I did not have any Bible verse I could point to as evidence that this was coming from God.  Do you just rely on positive thinking and optimistic strategizing to guide you when you aren’t sure how to connect with the Lord on some matter that means a lot to you?  What is your go to method for hearing from God?  Most don’t care what God might be saying; they never give it much thought but what about you?  Have you come to the place where you want the Lord to show you the way?

Good people, God’s people have made horrible mistakes, when it comes to God.  We rightfully commend Peter for his tremendous faith taking God at His word and walking on the water.  When he and his fellow disciples were going across the Sea of Galilee in the middle of a great storm, they all saw Jesus coming toward them but at first none of them were really sure it was Him.  Timidly, Peter cried out to the Lord with a tremendous request.  "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."  "Come," he said.  Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.  (Matthew 14:28-29 NIV)  However, quickly Peter’s faith failed him and he started sinking into the billowing waves.  But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"   Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" (Matthew 14:30-31 NIV) When Peter started out toward Jesus, He had complete confidence in God to take him along but it didn’t last and rather than walking in the might and protection of God, he went out in his own strength and insight.  He could see no way that he was going to survive the waves and down he went.

The same was true with Mary, the mother of Jesus.  Instead of maintaining her faith in Jesus and walking in Him, she trusted in her own wits and along with her children, came to the conclusion that Jesus had lost His mind.  What He was teaching and how He was behaving seemed irrational to her.  Then Jesus entered a house, and again a crowd gathered, so that he and his disciples were not even able to eat.  When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, "He is out of his mind." …Then Jesus' mother and brothers arrived. Standing outside, they sent someone in to call him. (Mark 3:20-21,31 NIV)  You can talk yourself into nearly anything if you rely just on you to figure out everything, including deciding that Jesus is crazy.  When Saul, who later became Paul was an unbeliever, he was convinced the Christian people were the worst sorts of souls and he set out on a quest to destroy them.  It seems so very reasonable, any conclusion you make when you are walking in yourself and deciding what you think is best.  The most rational and acceptable determinations are made by those who have no relationship with Christ.  They make sense and their arguments are levelheaded.  Mary, Saul and Peter all had their ducks in a row with their conclusions but just because the whole world agrees with you doesn’t mean it is so.

Jesus told His disciples not to talk about certain things until He was risen from the dead.  As they were coming down the mountain, Jesus gave them orders not to tell anyone what they had seen until the Son of Man had risen from the dead. (Mark 9:9 NIV)  There are many things you cannot understand nor can you grasp their importance until Christ is raised from the dead in you.  No matter how hard you look at a matter, regardless of how intensely you stare at a problem or an idea, you cannot get the gist of it until Jesus Christ has come alive in you.  Here is a Biblical example.  When Saul was just an ordinary person and had no sense of Christ in Him, he thought it was best to do whatever He could to stop the progression of the Christian message.  However, He met Christ and could no longer refute His Presence or authority as Lord.  Jesus became alive in Him and it completely changed the way He saw everything.  There is  a magical moment recorded in Acts 13 that completely altered the course of His life.  In the church at Antioch there were prophets and teachers: Barnabas, Simeon called Niger, Lucius of Cyrene, Manaen (who had been brought up with Herod the tetrarch) and Saul.  While they were worshiping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, "Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them."  So after they had fasted and prayed, they placed their hands on them and sent them off.  The two of them, sent on their way by the Holy Spirit, went… (Acts 13:1-4 NIV)

Consider just how monumental this really was.  Saul, who had been instrumental in the horrific persecution of Christian people in the Middle East, who personally ordered the murder of Christians and their imprisonment was now being commissioned to begin the great missionary movement into the depths of the Roman Empire.  Not only that, Saul was accepting the call and going off on the enterprise...without coercion, without resistance on his part!  We treat this lightly because we are used to Paul being the greatest of all missionaries and the author of one fourth the New Testament.  This was new ground however; for the Church as well as for Saul. Never before had any Christian workers officially with the blessing of the Church been sent out beyond the narrow confines of the Jewish world and certainly not someone of Saul’s notoriety.  You must consider the risk being taken by everyone involved.  What if Saul turned on them?  What if he wasn’t spiritually strong enough to withstand the persecution they might face?  What if Saul’s Christianity had no staying power?  It was a most shocking enterprise!

Take a close look at how this decision to send Saul and Barnabas into the wild pagan world of Roman rule developed.  In this one church in Antioch, there were a group of believers who had some experience hearing from God and praying.  While they were in a time of worship, the Holy Spirit told them to make Saul and Barnabas missionaries.  Somehow, the Lord got this message across to each one of these Christian leaders and church members.  They knew it was God saying it and they were certain of what He said.  Also, Christ in some way prepared Saul and Barnabas for this dramatic change of course.  They were not like Moses or Gideon who were spiritually unprepared for the calling each received from God.  Saul and Barnabas were ready to go; up for the challenge.  God did that in them.  God prepared their hearts for this crucial mission.

God has important things to say to you.  He has tasks for you that matter for eternity.  He has a way of looking at things that He wants you to see.  The Lord has plans for you, challenges for you, certain ways of doing things that are critical for you and for others that you may not even know yet.  You can be oblivious to Christ and remain in a spiritual fog if you like or you can come up into the bright sunlight of God and His word.  You can know what only Christ can show you.  You can see what only the Lord can reveal.  It is possible for you to be just as alert and spiritually alive as those Antioch church members who all knew God wanted Saul and Barnabas to be the first missionaries to the world outside the Middle East.

You must read the Bible if you want to hear from God.  You can never be certain it is Jesus talking to you if the Bible isn’t a part of your thinking.  You don’t read the Bible to get something out of it but to be with Jesus.  If you don’t care what He is doing or how He thinks, then keep the Bible on your coffee table or stuck in your phone.  But if you want God to talk with you and be close to you, then you must read the Bible.  Do what God says whenever you know what He wants you to do.  The Lord will be as silent as a door knob if you disobey Him and ignore what He is telling you.  Pray.  Just sit with God and tell Him you love Him and be quiet…do this several times a day.  You don’t have to ask for anything.  If you have a sin to confess then confess it.  If you feel the desire to thank Him or tell Him you love Him, then do that.  Mostly just sit with Christ and let the Lord have room in your mind to work in it.  Become someone the Lord talks with and gives His thoughts and directions.  Be a disciple that the Lord can guide and lead.  Make the best use of your time here on earth by being one of the Lord’s trusted friends.  Be a disciple!

Unmasking Christ

Isaiah 48: 6 NIV

"From now on I will tell you of new things, of hidden things unknown to you.”

What Do You Know About Jesus?

The other day I stood at the door while eighth graders filed past me as they entered the classroom where I was to be their substitute teacher.  I heard one say, “Oh, we have a sub!”  I don’t know if that was good or bad.  Was she happy there was a substitute teacher or disappointed?  I wasn’t greeted.  Eye contact was not made with me.  The girl just walked past me and made the declaration, “We have a sub!”  She did not know me and I did not know her and it seems unlikely we would ever come across each other again in this life unless of course I was a substitute teacher in another class of hers.  What struck me was that I was a category, not a person.  The only characteristic I possessed that this young teen cared about was that I was a sub.  She was not wondering about me at all.  It did not matter if I was young or old, married or single, a father, a Raiders or a Patriots fan, a Christian or a Muslim or a Hindu, an intellectual or a high school dropout, a nice guy or mean and disinterested in what I did.  The girl did not even worry herself over whether I was a human being or some creature from another galaxy.  I was a sub and that was all that mattered.  This girl did not have any interest in knowing anything else about me.

When someone like the famous atheist Carl Sagan makes clear that he has no interest in finding out anything about God, no one is surprised.  It seems normal for him to not even have a bit of curiosity about the Creator.  When someone who is Hindu or Buddhist makes no effort to learn about Christ, we aren’t shocked.  But if a person who claimed to have an interest in Christianity did not care about finding out what God was like or how Christ thought about things, we might wonder about that.  It would maybe be odd if you did not show interest in knowing more about God; if you were in fact satisfied that you knew all you cared about knowing when it came to Christ.  Now we come against a rather stunning discovery.  Many Christians without saying it have decided they know all they need to know about Christ; that they have come far enough in their understanding of Him to be satisfied.  What about you?  Have you gone as far as you care to go in your familiarity of God and what He is like?  What is your true interest level in God and how He is personally?

When we think of heaven and eternal life and the rewards of God, we don’t generally think along the right lines of all this.  Jesus defined the chief characteristic of eternal life when He was praying in front of the disciples just before being arrested and crucified.  He declared, “Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.” (John 17:3 NIV)  Eternal life is knowing God; knowing Jesus Christ.  That is all there is to it.  Nothing about streets of gold or great food or new bodies!  The most crucial aspect of eternal life is knowing God.  The verb translated “know”, has two qualities to it.  It is intimate knowledge, not hearsay, not proclaimed and overheard but personal knowledge that is experienced.  Second, it is a knowledge that keeps developing, keeps happening.  It is not the knowledge of a moment but the knowledge of everlasting, of never-ending.  Eternal life is God and more God and more God.  It is like falling in love and never wanting to back away or take a break but being so head over heels in love that you cannot get enough of the one you love.  There is always something more wonderful and beautiful to discover, always something more fascinating and electrifying to learn.  That is eternal life.  Getting to know God more and more and never being bored of it, never getting weary of it because it is too good to quench.

Here is the problem we face.  We have the heritage of Adam and Eve as our own.  Before Adam sinned, he walked with God and enjoyed Him continuously but as soon as he sinned, Adam hid from God and did not want to be seen by Him, did not want to talk with Him or be with Him.  That is the heritage of the human race.  Sin has made God irrelevant in us; unattractive to us and uninteresting.  We certainly want Him to give us something but the interest is more in what He gives than who He is.  It is like Jacob, who when he found out his father Isaac was going to bestow a blessing on Jacob’s older brother Esau, he dressed up as Esau to fool his blind father into giving him the blessing rather than who his father wanted to have it, Esau.  Jacob did not care how it hurt his father to be fooled.  He did not love his father enough to let him do what made him happy.  He did not want to know why his father felt strongly about giving the blessing to Esau. Jacob just wanted the blessing…but…and we are not being too judgmental to see it…Jacob was not very interested in the father behind the blessing.  That is the curse of sin in us.  It makes God less inviting and less desirable than whatever He might give us.

There is a fascinating case study in the Bible of just what it is like to begin the journey of eternal life and it is a mirror of our own experience.  When Jesus invited Peter to follow Jesus, he knew enough about Christ to do so.  What information he had, we cannot say exactly but it was enough for Peter. As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen.  "Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men."   At once they left their nets and followed him. (Matthew 4:18-20 NIV)  Sometime later, after having seen some of Jesus’ miraculous deeds and listened to Him teach, Peter made a most surprising decision.  When a great storm arose on the Sea of Galilee and Peter was with the other disciples, off in the distance came someone walking toward them on the water and everyone in the boat thought it was a ghost.  It was of course Jesus and when the Lord reassured them that it was Him, Peter asked if he could climb out of the boat and walk on the water too and Jesus told him to come on out and join him.  But after just a few steps, Peter looked at the waves and his faith in Christ sank.  Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.  But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"  Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" (Matthew 14:29-31 NIV) Now Peter knew by experience, personal experience, something about Jesus he did not know before.  He could trust Jesus to take care of him in even the worst of circumstances.  That is eternal life; knowing more of Christ.

Later, Peter was on a hill with James and John and Jesus when something wild happened.  About eight days after Jesus said this, he took Peter, John and James with him and went up onto a mountain to pray.  As he was praying, the appearance of his face changed, and his clothes became as bright as a flash of lightning.  Two men, Moses and Elijah, appeared in glorious splendor, talking with Jesus. They spoke about his departure, which he was about to bring to fulfillment at Jerusalem.  Peter and his companions were very sleepy, but when they became fully awake, they saw his glory and the two men standing with him.  As the men were leaving Jesus, Peter said to him, "Master, it is good for us to be here. Let us put up three shelters — one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah." (He did not know what he was saying.)  While he was speaking, a cloud appeared and enveloped them, and they were afraid as they entered the cloud.  A voice came from the cloud, saying, "This is my Son, whom I have chosen; listen to him." (Luke 9:28-36 NIV)  What an amazing experience.  Peter got to meet the legends Moses and Elijah.  What he did not know until then was that Jesus was not on a par with Moses and Elijah.  He was not their equal, not their peer.  He was the Son, He was their God.  He did not know this before.  He thought he knew who Jesus was but He was much more than Peter realized.  He was the Son.  This was eternal life.  He knew more about Christ than he did before.

A fourth experience of Peter gives us an even better idea of what eternal life is.  Boldly, before Jesus died, Peter announced to everyone including Jesus that he was far more brave and loyal to Jesus than any of the others.  Jesus was not very encouraging.  He told Peter that Peter would in fact deny that he was one of Jesus’ followers three times in the next few hours and that of course is what happened.  Peter was heartbroken later when it came to pass and he felt like an absolute failure.  But after Jesus returned to life and began meeting with the disciples and others, Christ pulled Peter aside and three times asked Peter if Peter loved Him, the exact same number of times, Peter cowardly denied knowing Jesus.  In the end the Lord gave Peter a special mission one that required great courage and dedication.  Jesus said, "Feed my sheep. I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go."   Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, "Follow me!" (John 21:17-19 NIV)  Here, on the shores of the Sea of Galilee, Peter found out how merciful Jesus is.  Christ did not hold Peter’s cowardice against him.  He did not lose confidence in Peter.  He gave Peter a mission, to take care of the new community of Christians who would soon join them and He did so without any sort of warnings against failing.  Jesus, Peter learned does not hold our sins and failures against us but builds up our lives and gives us honorable work to do.  Peter learned something new about Jesus and that is eternal life.  He discovered how kind and generous Jesus is.

One more moment we can consider about Peter’s life.  After Jesus went back to heaven and physically left the disciples, now known as Apostles, they all were gathered together praying when the Holy Spirit came upon them and they began to speak in all sorts of foreign languages that were supernaturally given to them.  A crowd was nearby made up of people from various parts of the world.  As the Apostles preached to the mass of people, each one understood perfectly in his or her own language what the Apostles were saying.  This was a miracle and one that was stupendous but that was not the greatest miracle that day.  What the Apostles discovered and Peter in particular was that God took them all in, regardless of race or national origin; gave each of them salvation.  Peter saw, and more fully than he had ever seen before, that Jesus is Savior no matter who you might be or what you have done or where you have been.  Christ takes the sin out of you and makes you perfect in every way.  All the heartache, all the anger and bitterness, all the hard feelings and held grudges, all corrupt lusts and selfishness and wrecked parts, Christ saves you from them.  There is not a part of you that Jesus will not make perfect and completely good and lovely.  He will do this for every person who comes to Him for salvation.  He is Savior.

This week, become attentive to Christ.  Think about Him.  Let your thoughts turn to Him again and again.  Assume He will talk to you.  There is so much for you to learn about Christ.  So much you don’t know.  You and I are like little children.  We have just begun to begin to get to know Jesus and to find out what He is like.  If the Bible is true, and we say it is, then God is love and the more you know the love of God, the more joyous and peaceful and full of hope your life will be.  Make Christ the center of your thinking this week and every time He comes to mind, be prepared for our Lord to show you something you have never seen before.

Today See God

Is it a crazy assumption that God will do now as has been described of Him doing in the past?  Nothing unsettles our sensibilities quite like the long wait for God to act today as we have heard He did before.  Every rational thought argues against willful  anticipation of supernatural entries into our fussy world.  It seems absurd to the common mind that the Lord still operates within the same paradigm as records indicate He once did.  And yet that is precisely what we are expected to believe when we take even the most casual glance at the Scriptures.  The" Fairy Tale" motif swirls about within the interpretive dance steps of  the normal Christian's take on life lived out daily.  In fact what is "Christian" today is generally not what once was Christian when everything said about God in Scripture was believed.  The Church assumed rightly God acted in their today as He had during the today of Moses or Elijah.  They realized the Lord would grip them relentlessly "now" even when they went through the fire, even when they fell into the water.  It did not come easily.  Peter had to first get wet and Silas had to wait in twitching pain for his prison midnight but eventually they came around.  Personal experience made the difference for them just as it does here for us.  The prayer had to be uttered, the cry bellowed, the worship to the God of heaven offered.  It was only then that Elijah saw things just as Moses had, Peter saw things as Elijah had and Paul saw things as Peter had.  The skeptic does not die peacefully but in fits and starts and with loud moans and lusty screams.  The man without God is a hollow shell.  But add the Lord Jesus Christ to him and He lives vivaciously, vividly, like a bright beam of sunlight piercing the night sky.  You, joined with the Lord will see all that Elijah did, all that James did and not feebly either but decidedly, firmly.    We stumble over little unseen miracles because we live with meager faith; we grip the majesty of God with the loosest of holds because we are  more content to hear about God than we are to know Him.  "Taste and see that the Lord is good", implies that you must do something about your hunger and thirst if you are ever to gain the smallest sense of God.  The historical documents have been given us not that we might dream of days gone by but that we might do the very things the saints of the past did.  Stay in the shallows of common faith and you will merely read the tales of God; go out of the harbor where storms threaten to dump you in the sea and the Majesty of the Almighty will find you .  You will no longer make your way through the shadow lands of legendary ghosts;  you will instead enter the actual world where Christ reigns and you join with Him in His Glory.  Stop making so much of the God of ancient times if you don't intend on taking hold of the Christ who today stands before you and whispers, "Come".

Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked, "You of little faith, why are you talking among yourselves about having no bread?  Matthew 16: 8 NIV

I Know What I Am Doing

How often do we trick ourselves into thinking we've got it but those around us don't.  Far too soon in our Christian journey we come up against the oldest of Satan's tricks; the implication that we know what we are doing.  Eve convinced Adam that she knew what she was doing and Peter tried to convince Jesus too that he had the right idea when he lost his mind over three shelters.  It is a fallacy to believe that we can make it on our own just this one time because we have figured out other things so well.  What do we make of the Cross then?  Did Jesus endure it because we were only a few marks off in our thinking or because we were thoroughly wrecked by sin?  The notion that once we become Christian we somehow need Jesus a bit less if we play it sharp is an insult to the blood He poured out upon the ground of our lostness.  We need Christ at every moment of every day and the Holy Spirit must be heeded far more than ever now.    You do not need to read the Bible less as you move along because you have gotten familiar with it;  you need to read the Bible with greater fervor than ever because you should realize even more just how wicked you really are without the Word of God filling you head to toe.  Your point of comparison is not some poor soul next to you whom you barely know; it is the filth of the tar pit that stands within you waiting to suck you in at just one bumbling stumble over a cock-sure determination.  The love and mercy of Christ is not poured out for your independent strut but to galvanize your total  dependence upon God to take you through each day.
You save the humble but bring low those whose eyes are haughty. Psalm 18:27 NIV

Faith Claims

Be careful about declaring what God will do before He says it Himself.  The pretentious trend in Christian circles of deciding what God must do has wrecked the faith of too many childish believers.  The assumption that if God loves me he will do this or that is a psychological landmine.  God will do what He actually says He will do.  When He told Sarah in her old age that He would give her a child He did.  When He told Jehoshaphat that He would give Judah a resounding victory over the Moabites and Amonites, He did.  When He told Moses that He would give Israel freedom from Egyptian rule, He did.  He did not say He would give James a long life and He did not tell Peter He would keep him from a painful end.  What if James claimed a long life for himself and Peter knew his ministry would not close out on a cross?  Would they not have sounded like so many who post a claim and then assume the claim is vouched for by God with Him agreeing to the claim?  It is blasphemy to speak for God when He has said nothing about a matter.  Take your troubles and painful trials to the Lord and leave them with Him.  Faith is worked out in us not by assuming something will happen or won't but when we confidently trust the Lord to make everything in time work out for our good and for the good of those we love.  Habakkuk waited on the ramparts not because he demanded everything go well with Jerusalem but because He knew an eternal Kingdom was being established and he would be a part...the Lord had said this was so.  He never named the miracle and then like a puffed out child waited for it to happen.  His hope was in God alone, not in an outcome He demanded.  
But the just shall live by his faith...  Habakkuk 2:4 NIV

Good...

Jesus made a disconcerting comment as he talked with the famous “rich young ruler” of Luke 18.  When the young man approached the Lord, he addressed Jesus as “Good teacher”.  Now this was certainly a respectful form of address but Jesus was not so impressed.  His reply was biting.  "Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. "No one is good — except God alone. (Luke 18:19-20 NIV)  This is most informative if we can get past the seeming rudeness of the retort.  Jesus made it perfectly clear without any wiggle room that there is no one good…just God.  This is not self-deprecation: it is stating the clear fact.  Nothing good exists except what is in God, from God and with God.   The source of any good is God and without Him there is no good.  Good is not a relative term; good compared to not so good.  Good is determined by its source.  From God and it is good, outside of Him and it is not.  You and I are not the source of good and we do not decide if something is good or not.  Good is not an arbitrary assessment we make; good is determined by how anything at any moment relates to God.  Take the Lord out of a thought, out of an idea, out of a behavior and it is no longer good.  Regardless of how an event may turn, how a circumstance may look, it is good if your eyes are fixed upon God and your heart is determined to follow Him.  The command of Hebrews 12: 2 to fix our eyes upon Jesus is not a symbolic gesture, it is an act of the will to look to Christ for everything from how to think about something to how to act.  Take your eyes off the Lord and what can seem good, like Peter walking on water can become a disaster in a moment as he began to sink with his eyes on the waves.

The Right Spirit

The Right Spirit

 

A man’s spirit sustains him in sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear?  (Proverbs 18:14 NIV)

 

Of the many tasks a church may have, certainly high up on the list is making certain none of its members have a crushed spirit.  There are countless ways a spirit can be crushed but never should it be a Christian who does it.  Jesus rebuked and sometimes fiercely.  His admonishment of Peter for insisting that Jesus would not suffer death was astonishingly stern and yet we can tell it did not crush Peter’s spirit nor was it intended to do so.  When our pride is struck a blow, our self-interest threatened or our greed throttled, viciously we go after the spirit of another and with the force of a hammer come down upon it with all we have.  We must pierce our own sin with the same tenacity of a surgeon going after infection but it is not ours to go after the sins of another.  We are too prone to cut off the arm when we find a sliver in the hand which we would never do about our own slivers. The tender generosity we have toward ourselves is not what we show toward the sinners we have grown to dislike.  We can tell just how far we have come by the way we view the atrocities of family members with whom we have grown weary.  A husband or wife or parent or sibling is our best barometer of real spiritual pluck.  If we give in to the temptation to try and batter the spirit of those closest to us for “making us” not like them, we know just where we are.  We have lost our mooring and strayed far from the Spirit’s shore.  It is hard to pray for one you dislike but it is the beginning point for regaining the love of Christ and the happy Christian life.  Certainly, if you cannot pray for the beast, then keep your mouth shut and stop being the beast.  Give yourself a chance to be the one those closest to you love to think about and find when they are with you gain renewed strength to rise above the sickness that comes upon us all.