Watch Attentively

It is astounding how quickly we turn aside to some vulgar strategy for solving our relational problems!  We get angry, pout, pull in allies, defend ourselves, sulk, hold imaginary conversations in our heads, plot revenge, nurse grudges, take out our frustrations on others.  Yet have we considered the response of Habakkuk to the coming onslaught of the Babylonians?  I will stand at my watch and station myself on the ramparts; I will look to see what he will say to me, (Habakkuk 2:1 NIV)  We would rather do ten thousand things other than watch for God and look to see what He might say about our relationships.  We forget in a millisecond the astounding work Christ has done for us on the Cross.  He did not die the brutal death to get us independent and up and running. Through the Cross He became our husband spiritually but not figuratively.  Literally He has joined Himself to us in a perfect union of love, faith and hope.  Consequently, every relationship we have can be worked through that triplet because God is in us.  Love, faith and hope will each become the guiding force of Christ in the community God has given us if we would just watch and look for what   God will say to us.  Any fool can get mad when he is frustrated by someone's bad behavior.   Where is God in the sulk, in the grudge?  What miracle of the Cross is found in the bitter feelings?  If we are born-again, there is no enemy beyond the reach of the love, faith and hope God has given us nor is there a relative or friend Christ cannot take back into our hearts.    Just one look at the word our Lord has given us will correct us if we are watching for it and the miracle of the Cross will awaken us again to Christ in us, the hope of glory.

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.'  But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.     Matthew 5:43-45 NIV

Loyalty and Its Cost

Is it wrong to want others to like us, to value us and respect us?  Should it not be a noble goal to have people speak highly of us at our funeral, for them to have fond memories of our life and testify of what a good and generous person we were?  So do we leave the path of rightness if it matters to us what sort of reputation we have developed and we care about the popularity we acquire?  Jesus insisted that if we follow Him there will be those who hate us and reject us because of Him.  Does that possibility frighten us?  Are we disturbed by how the Gospel in us is received?  When Christ works His way through our personality, it is not a trifling matter.  It is revolutionary; as upsetting as the day the colonies declared independence from England; as chaotic as when the realization strikes us that our children really are adults and no longer ours to keep in place.  The supernatural effect of the Cross is that the Lord Jesus Christ becomes Lord over one dealing after another and it will crack the care-free web of interacting we have built.  God’s peace does not please everyone.  Hope does not make everyone happy.  Holiness is frightful to many…so is kindness, generosity and mercy.  The world is not ready for a Christian man or woman who fully intends to let God live through the complete personality.  It will jar plenty; stun and mystify enough of the crowd to send some shivers down our spine.  You will not be prepared for being hated because Christ lives through you.  It will seem to you that God should have worked that out in advance; that if you are reworked by the Holy Spirit, He will make the path clear of boulders and thorn bushes for you.  But He won’t.  Just as the seedling needs the pushback of the soil to make it prosper and grow strong, you need the opposition of friends and family to develop spiritual backbone.  You are to be strong and mighty in God and it must be steady she goes for you as you gain some of the circle of isolation Christ faced.  Let Christ be the center of all you are becoming and soon enough you will be able to love those who hate you and let your critics have their say without being perturbed.  In the darkness of strained and ruined relationships, the light of Christ will shine brightly enough to guide your way through to the other side of the dismay you feel.  Just don’t let your attempts at realizing yourself be the instigator for your conflicts.  You are not, and forever will not be your own.  It is you and the love of Christ in all you do now.  Let Him have His way in your visceral response to broken humanity…in particular the part of that humanity living next door to you…or in your house.

Keep yourselves in God's love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.   Jude 21 NIV

No Fault Divorce

Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?"

Mark 10:2 NIV

When a relationship of yours is broken, how do you know it is your fault?  For some they are never at fault.  Surely you don’t fit into this category of people but most have trouble accepting blame when they are squarely in the midst of an argument.  It is too satisfying to keep at it, to keep pounding away at fault, keep hammering the point.  The ability to shut-up in the middle of a fight is a God-send, but only if it results in a change of direction.  Given our tendency to lay blame, it is almost a pipe dream to hope that we could see our fault in a matter when we are steamed.  Adam and Eve proved that at the heart of sin is a propensity to lay blame, to find fault without rather than within.  One of the clear signals that we have erred and perhaps erred badly is a righteous anger that we have been wronged.  Consider the admonitions we find in scripture regarding fractured relationships.  "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.  (Matthew 5:23-24 NIV)  "But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. (Luke 6:27-28 NIV) "Do not judge, or you too will be judged.”  (Matthew 7:1-2 NIV)  "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. (Matthew 7:3-5 NIV) But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. (Matthew 5:39-40 NIV)

The weight of scripture is stacked against you if you are making your case in a broken relationship.  Whatever argument you may have wedged into your fight, whether spoken or unspoken is nearly always wrong or at least irrelevant.  There is almost no room for squaring things off; at least if you are pretty certain it is the other person’s corner that is misaligned.  Our bent heart rarely gets it right when we begin to assess blame.  Sin warps our view of nearly every accusation we have; we are much more likely to get it wrong when we are incensed than have grasped the right thread of a matter.  Nothing violates our life with God more than playing the judge in our disagreements; acting as the accuser in our fractured relationships.  Fault may be shown but most likely it will only be our own that we find uncovered in the rubble.  Better to forgive, ignore or let go than fight on and try to take it to the mat.  Adam knew it was his wife’s fault but right or wrong in his assumption, he was given bitter toil for life for his part…one must wonder what God would have done instead if he had simply said he was wrong and left the matter at that…leaving Eve out of it.  We know our God’s mercy.  Why trifle with his patience by keeping our fights alive when we can simply end them with forgiveness and a resolve to give up the cloak demanded of us?  Blessed still are the peacemakers for they will be called the sons of God.  Isn’t it better to be happy than cling to a warped form of rightness?

Minding Your Business

Minding Your Business

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. (James 4:1-3 NIV)

Every form of anger other than righteous or holy anger generated by the Spirit of God is due to a lack of contentment with what God has given you or allowed come to you.  When you want more than He wants you to have or feel that you deserve something better than what you have gotten, whether it be better treatment, more respect or greater influence, you get angry or depressed and the peace of God leaves you.  Angry, bitter thoughts sprout within a mind that has not made Christ its center or Lord.  Cursing, complaining and angry words are always a sign of idolatry; of wanting something more than what comes out of the hand of Christ.

When Christ is not the source of your joy and peace, your mind will become less able to guide you rightly, making you susceptible to depression, anger, apathy and confusion.  Nothing weakens your mind’s ability to make sense of things more than your devotion to Christ weakening.  You are less patient, more prone to take offence, less able to forgive, more judgmental, more frustrated and your ability to make sense of your life diminished.  The mind out of sorts with the Holy Spirit lacks the most important component needed to be happy and at peace; the guidance and empowerment of God.  The mind becomes a battleground where despicable and hurtful thoughts fight with what is right and good and all too often win.

The way to clear your mind and make your thinking free of its power to mislead you is to follow the instruction of Philippians 4.  Present your requests to God rather than ponder them, complain about them or fume about them.  Be thankful rather than disappointed, keep looking for the good Christ is doing for you and do not be misled into thinking you are somehow losing or missing out.  Every circumstance is being used by God for your good so there is never a reason to be frustrated or upset about how someone treats you or the difficulties you face.  The role of your mind is to keep bringing you to Christ if it isn’t, you must discipline it to do that very thing.  Force yourself to be thankful to God or ask for His help.  If you aren’t doing one or the other, you are losing your mind to every trap and misdirection Satan may use to confuse and confound you.  It is certain if you fail to pray for help or thank God for what you have at any moment, you risk losing your thoughts to a demonic attack upon your brain, one you may even know is happening.  Depression, anger, bitterness, jealousy, despair, loneliness, lust, disgruntlement, self-pity are not from God.  They are all the fruit of refusing to either ask Christ for help or thank Him for what He has given you.  You may be snared in one of Satan’s traps or just living in the natural result of your own sin but you don’t have to stay there.  Your mind can be happy and contented but you must go back to the one thing.  Praise Christ for what you have or ask for His help.  Reclaim your mind and get on with the business of having a good life today.

The Right Spirit

The Right Spirit

 

A man’s spirit sustains him in sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear?  (Proverbs 18:14 NIV)

 

Of the many tasks a church may have, certainly high up on the list is making certain none of its members have a crushed spirit.  There are countless ways a spirit can be crushed but never should it be a Christian who does it.  Jesus rebuked and sometimes fiercely.  His admonishment of Peter for insisting that Jesus would not suffer death was astonishingly stern and yet we can tell it did not crush Peter’s spirit nor was it intended to do so.  When our pride is struck a blow, our self-interest threatened or our greed throttled, viciously we go after the spirit of another and with the force of a hammer come down upon it with all we have.  We must pierce our own sin with the same tenacity of a surgeon going after infection but it is not ours to go after the sins of another.  We are too prone to cut off the arm when we find a sliver in the hand which we would never do about our own slivers. The tender generosity we have toward ourselves is not what we show toward the sinners we have grown to dislike.  We can tell just how far we have come by the way we view the atrocities of family members with whom we have grown weary.  A husband or wife or parent or sibling is our best barometer of real spiritual pluck.  If we give in to the temptation to try and batter the spirit of those closest to us for “making us” not like them, we know just where we are.  We have lost our mooring and strayed far from the Spirit’s shore.  It is hard to pray for one you dislike but it is the beginning point for regaining the love of Christ and the happy Christian life.  Certainly, if you cannot pray for the beast, then keep your mouth shut and stop being the beast.  Give yourself a chance to be the one those closest to you love to think about and find when they are with you gain renewed strength to rise above the sickness that comes upon us all.